Wednesday, March 5, 2014


Today marks a full month that I have been working out every day after sending Little Man off to school and while Vegas takes his morning nap.  At first I ran a mile a day, and now I'm up to a respectable 3 miles. We have a little home gym in the basement with a treadclimber that I like using, and I blast my 80's Pandora station and try to stave off the inevitable boredom I feel after Mile 1. I think at some point I'd like a little TV down there, but for now the music keeps me moving. Between the working out and making better food choices, you'd think I'd have lost a bit of weight by now - but I'm only down maybe 3 or 4 pounds. So this month I've decided to take a break from any form of booze to help jumpstart my weight loss.  Yep.  This is after a 10 month dry spell so you know I'm pretty serious about losing some weight.

The other plan for the month of March is to treat myself better emotionally. One of my bad habits is when I'm talking to a friend and I start being negative about myself. I'll put down my body image, my personality, or my talent because I feel self-conscious and less-than.  I don't like hearing other people say those things about themselves, so why do I want to perpetuate that behavior in myself?  I don't.  So my promise to myself has been that I will do my best to say more positive things about myself, and if I don't have anything nice to say - stuff it. I've had this goal before, but I'm hoping that pairing the goal with Lent where everyone else is trying hard to give up things will be a good reminder of what I'm doing (although I'm not religious myself).

Along that line, I am also planning on cutting a few negative people out of my life. This will be a really challenging thing for me, even though it sounds like such a simple goal.  Part of my personality is that I constantly strive to be accepted and liked at the risk of my own feelings and opinions. My insecurity in some of my friendships means I put up with a lot of negativity that I know isn't healthy. Last night something finally just snapped into place for me. I need friends who boost me up, because I tear myself down enough as it is! Dwelling on the negative feedback I always get from certain people just keeps me in that vicious cycle of being down on myself, which then just allows them to think it is okay to say hurtful or negative things.

I've been so overwhelmed the last month or so with negative thoughts and I'm not going to be okay with that anymore. This next month is going to be getting in shape physically and emotionally, and I am so ready for it!

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