Monday Ramblings

It's finally snowing??  On March 25th?  I'm not even the tiniest bit excited by this.  I am so ready for Spring weather, lighter clothes, no jackets, and flip flops.  It somehow is infinitely easier to wiggle an almost 5 year old into his car seat when you don't have to whip off his bulky jacket or shield his head from the rain and icy wind.

As of yesterday, Baby Vegas and I are cruisin' along at nineteen weeks - and we're in the honeymoon phase for sure!  I feel BV kicking and swimming all the time, and I have a little belly, but other than that it is hard to remember that I'm really going to have a baby in 21 weeks!!  Well, except when I want sushi and wine.  Which is kind of always.  I always want sushi and wine.

Check out my haircut, it's my favorite part of the photo.

I haven't bothered to take the 19 week picture yet.  So this picture at 18 weeks is the most recent "belly shot".  I've been pretty lazy in regards to pregnancy documenting, so I haven't even done a baby book this time.  I assume this means I'll have a girl, and she will  be horrified that all of her friends have detailed baby books and timelines of their growth in their momma's belly from Pinterest -and I was a slacker.  But it will be a life lesson for her - some people suck, and sometimes it is the people you love.  So there isn't anything you can do about it, you have to love them anyways.  Now check out these sweet Instagram photos of what I was eating while I was pregnant with you - that's entertainment!

Today is Passover.  Or tonight is, or something.  Everything I know about Passover I learned from the Illustrated Children's Bible in 1997 - so I am a little hazy on the details.  Also I am Christian by birth, Episcopalian by marriage. (I confirmed that with Hubs before I typed it, we aren't very observant if you can't tell.)  But Hubs, Little Man, and I got invited to a Passover dinner tonight and so I am trying to brush up on the details before I head out.  In semi-related news, Hubs was horrified to find out recently that I have never been baptized - way to go Mom!  That is way worse than not giving your kid a baby book.  Of course, Little Man isn't baptized either.  So apparently at some point in the near future we are all getting a good sprinkle of holy water *just in case*.  I hope this doesn't ruin seating arrangements upstairs (I mean WAYYY upstairs) because I am fairly sure my sister and brother will not be getting baptized and I am hoping we all can still hang out together in the great beyond.  Then again, if the "lets plan to get you baptized" takes as long as the "lets plan to clean the storage room and the baby's room and your office"... I probably have a few years to worry about it.

That was a passive aggressive hint to my husband that we still haven't done anything to the mess in this house.   I wonder if he's waiting until I am too big to move around and help him at all.  Maybe he wants to spare me the hard work?  Hmmm...

On that note, I am going to get back to laying on the couch watching Thomas the Tank Engine and listening to Hubs type away for work. I have priorities.

Money or World Peace?

Here's a great head-scratcher for ya:  What is more important to you?  Money, or world peace?

I think the answer was made clear for us in that great American classic "Miss Congeniality".
[Spoiler alert - It's world peace.]

I know that seems random, but let me get back to that thought...

Lately my Ex has been driving me insane, and I have been biting my tongue to hold back all the anger I want to lash out at him.  It makes me crazy that he does not care about day-to-day decisions in Little Man's life.  He has no concept of his daily routines, therapies, if/when school will be starting for him... he never asks for information until standing in our door at pickup.  Then he wants a quick rundown of the last however-long it has been, as if I can sum up 2+ weeks in a few moments before he walks out the door.  That is, if he even manages to get down here to pick Little Man up at all.  He tends to text us on Thursday night or Friday morning letting us know that he had some sort of emergency which will prevent him from picking up Little Man.

Hubs and I made the decision after the wedding that we were no longer going to enable Ex's behavior, and we've been firm at sticking to that plan even though it usually makes things more difficult for us than for Ex.  We used to do the 3.5 hour round trip for drop offs AND pick ups because Ex didn't have a working car for awhile.  But even though we'd make the all the drop offs, Ex wouldn't be able to pay child support because he was "saving for a better car" or "not working" or "paying off bills."  So now, when Ex texts at 3:30 pm on his scheduled Friday with Little Man saying that his car suddenly broke down again, we say nothing.  We ask him what his plan will be and sit back and wait for him to wiggle out of another visitation/payment.  Then we rearrange our schedule and any plans we made for the weekend and wait til Ex contacts us again, which is usually two weeks later for his next visit.

But here is where I get back to my original thought:  What is more important?  Money or world peace?

Ex is perfectly content to continue living the way he is living.  He is fine being a dad a couple days a month, and I never doubt that he does love Little Man in his teenage way.  But he is also fine not seeing Little Man for weeks at at a time.  He is fine letting us be the full-time parents and he's the "fun guy".

I could press him harder to man up, to spend time with his son.  I could take him to court and demand back child support.  But is it worth it?  Is it worth disrupting what is a very easy and (mostly) painless process for Hubs and I every two weeks?  Ex has nothing but respect for Hubs and I, he has told us so on multiple occasions.  Drop offs, although full of strained and awkward small talk, are polite and everyone tries their best to co-parent in 15 minutes or less.  We were clear with Ex back in January that our patience had run out on driving to him and then not getting (what is a very very small) support that month on top of it all.  So he actually did end up doing a couple drop off/pick ups on his own, until this latest "I don't have a car again" month.

I guess what Hubs and I always tell ourselves is "Why rock the boat?  It could be so much worse."  Without the court's involvement we have been able to be very flexible with visitation, switching weekends around here and there and picking up Little Man very early or very late.  The few times we "needed" to drop off Little Man because we had plans we couldn't break, Ex has been fairly accommodating.   No, we can't rely on Ex for any help with child support.  But is that money worth making everything tense between us?  Would going to court even accomplish anything since technically he is unemployed and working odd jobs?

So I hold in this rage that I am feeling today, as Ex pulls out another one of his classic lines to avoid a pickup.  I try not to let it make me furious that I feel like I care so much and he cares so little.  I know my screaming or my passive aggression isn't going to change the core of who Ex is, a little boy trapped in a man body.  And I opt for world peace.

Things are fine! Yay modern medicine!

I went to my regular OBGYN this week to talk about my new diagnosis and information.  Besides the simple fact that I am in love with him his talent, he is amazing at putting me at ease quickly and calmly.

I don't think my OB is for everyone - in fact, when I describe him to people sometimes they seem horrified.  But he is perfect for me.  He answers questions quickly and with a confidence that leaves no room for doubt - which is what I need!  And sometimes when I double check (hey, I'm slightly neurotic!), he shoots me down with a laugh and quick shrug as to indicate that I am actually being neurotic.  I love this.  

Example:  

Me:  I found out I have that prothrombrin thing... and I am a little concerned I am going to need to take blood thinners, and I hate shots... and I am um... kind of freaked out that my baby isn't okay in there?

Him:  Did they put you on aspirin?  Anything?  Nah, you're fine.  Not a big deal.

Me:  But after delivery do I need to take blood thinners?

Him:  Probably not.  Blood thinners have their own set of complications and you don't need to be on them without a good reason.  Which you don't really have.  Lemme ask you a question you won't know the answer to - how many kidneys do you have?

Me:  Two.

Him:  You think you have two.  Plenty of people have gotten in car accidents and then they find out hey, I've got one kidney!  What do I do now??  Nothing.  You do nothing, you were fine before and you're fine now. Same with you.  You know something a little scary about yourself that most people would go their whole life not knowing, but we're not gonna have to treat something you don't have symptoms of.  

So I feel much, much better today.  We did go into a few details about how delivery will be monitored a little more closely and such, but he said we'll go over it more as the day gets closer.  Next visit is the dreaded glucose test, which I tried my hardest to get out of with "Well don't I look plenty healthy to you???"  Apparently not.

Finally, I am working on a post about Little Man and Ex that is taking all the strength I have in the world.  I am really trying to not make it a crazy rant about how much Ex is pissing me off lately, and actually make it about the topic I am discussing.  We'll see how that one goes when I post it.  

Happy (??)  Ides of March!  

Skinny Genes - Part Deux

Today was a fun visit up north to good ole' JHH.  We met with specialists in genetics and maternal-fetal medicine to discuss pregnancy outcomes, and the results of our genetic screening.

Turns out that Hubs and I have pretty clean genes for your average humans.  None of our genes are predisposed to combine to make a baby-time bomb, or one of the several "scarier" genetic problems that can occur in a pregnancy.  Hurray!

We did take this additional panel of tests to determine if we are carriers of any blood-related disorders, because of Little Man's medical history.  Obviously since Little Man has a different father, his problems would be from that combination of genes and not Hubs/My genes.  But it was something we looked into nonetheless.  And that panel actually did turn up a few things for the Hubs and I.  Nothing concerning for Baby Vegas, because A) It's a done deal, he's already cooking in there, and B) There is really not too much to be freaked out about.  I carry a gene that ups my risk of a baby having neural tube defects by .01%... So I am advised to take more folic acid before pregnancy and in the first trimester.  A little late for that now, but it would be helpful in the future.  But that it is it as far as major concerns for this little fetus.  We will be getting extra ultrasounds to keep checking the baby for any potential bleeds, but we should be able to have a natural birth without any concerns.

Me on the other hand - I've got some "ughs" to deal with now.  They detected that I have this prothrombrin thrombophilia gene mutation.  Which means I have to be on the lookout for blood clots, especially during my pregnancy.  Depending on my doctor's decisions this week, I may have to go on blood thinners during my pregnancy, which would mean daily shots.  I will most likely have to be on blood thinners immediately after delivery and post-partum.  Yuck.  So I am still a high-risk pregnancy, and would continue to be in that category for future pregnancies.

I am more than a little freaked out by all this new information, and I am still processing what it means for us now and for future pregnancies.  I think I am okay.  I'm trying to be okay.  In the grand scheme of things, this is not that bad.  Just gotta keep reminding myself that there were a million more things that could have been wrong, and this is not. that. bad.

Short and Sweet

I'm trying to be productive this week since I have about a baskillion household chores to catch up on.  Somehow we ran out of laundry detergent and dish soap so everything seems extra dirty.  I did manage to vacuum up a layer or three of dirt from the downstairs carpets, and clean the bathrooms.  So I count that as a win, and now I get to relax right?

Little Man got a sweet haircut early this week and inspired me to get my own hair done - he looks awesome, I am a little nervous.  Because my best friend's first reaction was "Wow, you're your mom."  Oh boy.

Little Man also started some new PT home therapy this week.  He only threw one major tantrum, and then there was a slightly awkward moment where he knew the therapist had fruit snacks hidden so he started trying to kiss her to get her to give them to him.  I mean, it works when I have fruit snacks he wants...

We might have to work on boundaries, asap.

Finally, Baby Vegas is 16 weeks old!  He's avocado sized and has fingernails.  I am having round ligament pains anytime I push myself too hard, so it has made me very disinterested in household chores.  And we're back to the beginning...