Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The One Where I Get Married For The First Time All Over Again

Tomorrow morning we leave to get married.  HOLY SMOKES BATMAN.

We are heading out to Vegas with 28 of our closest friends and family, and it is going to be an amazing, epic, fantastic, legendary weekend of fun.

I just finished packing, got my very first spray tan, my nails done, and my eyebrows all cleaned up.  I feel ready, but also not ready.  Makes no sense I know, but that's what it is.

I feel like this is my first wedding, even though it is not.  I suppose it is because I feel like this is the first day of the rest of my life, the day we will begin our family, the day we commit to making a home for all of us. 

I am in a completely different place than I was when I got married to Ex. I would never say I regret that marriage or the short time we had as a family, I feel like he supported me through one of the more difficult periods of my life.  But we were not compatible in the long run, and so I am also forever grateful he had the foresight to realize that I was much better off without him we didn't make a great team.  My "failed marriage" makes me cherish every single moment I have with Hubs, and it will make me value our marriage all the more. 

I am in love with Hubs, and we are an amazing team.  I am finally at peace with who I am and who I will become.  I am no longer lost in my own skin.  I don't have doubts.  I don't have fears.  I have confidence that this is the person I am meant to be with.  We've seen the worst and the best in each other and dealt with it together.  He loves all of me just as I love all of him.

And so I prepare for tomorrow like I have never done this before, because I haven't.  I haven't walked down the aisle as this person, this happy, well-adjusted, healthy person that I am now.   This relationship that we have is a special and wonderful new chapter in my life, and I am ridiculously excited to start it.

It is going to be a beautiful wedding.

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