Parenting, Explained to a Parent

"Hi there, so sorry I missed your call last week - this is Little Man's mom calling to reschedule his PT appointment?"
"Yes hi - we have him listed for this Friday at 2, is that okay?"
"Well no, we have an appointment this week but the following Friday would be fine."
"Okay well, do Fridays at 2 normally work for you? We need a consistent appointment time and you need to keep them so progress can be made with Little Man."
"... Yes, Fridays normally work fine."
"Um... so then yes, why did you say you needed to return my call?"
"Because you canceled our appointment last Friday."

Seriously. Eff the eff off. If I cancel or reschedule an appointment before the required 48 hours, keep your nose out of my business. And if I didn't give you notice, charge my credit card and feel free to inform me that you did. All of that can be done without the side of guilt. I usually overshare and explain to you that he's come down with a bug or that something came up with one of my other kids that needs to be addressed, but even if I didn't... Your office policy is that I call, I called, I didn't ask for your opinion on my child's medical situation Office Manager Judy Snoopy*.

Even though I know Judy is full of crap, it still stings to hear some stranger decide you aren't doing enough. Judy doesn't know that this PT is a placeholder until his Botox loosens up his foot more, that I'm paying a co-pay for a therapist to look at my son's foot and tell me there isn't anything more she can do without hurting him. A co-pay and visit that I have to be careful to space out because insurance grants us 75 visits a year and we will need to use multiple times weekly after his casting and/or surgery much more than we will now. Judy also doesn't know that I have two other children who can be in various levels of need or crisis that I have to consider. Or that I have to be home to receive delivery for a new fridge now that our old one bit the dust. She just wants to impart her glorious wisdom to me because apparently I can't possibly understand that I need to seek medical care for my child?

It is impressive how with one sentence I can feel pissed off, guilty, and anxious all at once.

I hate Judy Snoopy.

*Name changed, obviously. Who would name their kid Judy Snoopy?

Blogging Wednesday? Let's try it.

It's Wednesday, which I think I will designate as "Blog Day" from here on out to get back into a writing pattern. Wednesday is the morning I have the most free time, since Vegas and Little Man are both in school for full days and I don't usually have errands midweek.

Little Man is chugging along post-Botox injection. It was a quick and easy appointment, albeit long because the doctor is over two hours away. His PT says she's seen some minor improvements in his foot and ankle, but the muscle is still so tight that you can actually see the bone poking the skin up on the top of his foot. We're hoping to get in for a serial casting appointment sooner rather than later, and we also have Botox appointments every three months to keep the muscles from tensing up.

And in other exciting (erm, I guess?) news, we switched diaper brands for Little Man. We'd been sticking with the brand Medicaid used to provide him and they were... well, cheap. I mean, not cheap, cause adult diapers are not cheap. But cheapest and they seemed to do their job. Well after several months of wet mornings and shredded diapers we decided to try a new brand. I don't know why I'm shocked they're so drastically better, but I really didn't think an extra five to ten dollars an order would improve the quality so much. I don't think many of you are in a position where you are looking for adult diapers but if you are, I'd recommend Slimline Tranquility.

Vegas and Little Man are both in school now. Little Man could care less, Vegas is pumped. Most especially because he can ride the school bus two days a week. The days he has full days in his private school are my favorite (so much glorious free time!), and he loves them too, but really nothing compares to the wonderfulness that is a bus ride with his neighborhood best bud. And thank goodness for that kid, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get Vegas on the bus at all that first day of school! Now I'm lucky if I get a wave before he runs up to the driver and aide to say 'goo-mornin', how you today?!'

Cheeseball and I are adjusting to the quiet time at home. We have our living room completely gated off to keep the boys from running crazy when we don't want them to, but on the days its just us I try to let him roam free to discover what parts of my house need better childproofing. Spoiler alert, it's the Tupperware drawer and the toilet bowl. He's really into socks and shoes right now too so I am spending a lot of the morning helping him put them off and on again. He had a meeting with Infants and Toddlers last week about his speech development, and we got the great news that his speech has improved so much that he will probably not need therapy after this school year. He's going to be observed and monitored a few times until Christmas, but the OT was really impressed by his progress over the summer!

And as for me - I'm suddenly back in school too! I woke up the other day and couldn't let go of the idea of going back to school to relearn ASL and possibly get my interpreting certification. [dearest Hubs, so sorry I decided this at two am and woke you up for a serious discussion of this idea ;)] I know myself well enough to take it slow and not overcommit to a program I may not be as passionate about in six months time, so for right now I'm just starting with some basic classes. With my theater schedule and the kids I have to decide if this is something I want to make a priority - especially as it would become very expensive to commute to a school that would be able to help me achieve my ultimate goals. This semester will be a good way to decide what I want to do and what I can handle. Either way, I'm super excited about being back in a classroom again for the first time in... nine years!? Wow.

And that's as much update as I can squeeze in before I have to make lunches and get the kiddo down for a nap.

School Daze

Two weeks left until school starts. I'm waiting with baited breath... It's not just my kids that thrive on routine!!

Little Man will be in school full time. We haven't started the fight yet, but I am already predicting a tough year for him/us. His behavior has gotten really intense this summer. I use "intense" because he's not "bad", it's not a purposeful choice. He's just frustrated all the time and overreacts at the drop of a hat, and it manifests as huge blow-out tantrums for hours on hours. His hitting has gotten bad enough that he's managed to bruise himself a few times and now he's starting to lash out at his brothers if they get in his way. So once school is back in session I plan to call for an IEP to request not only the PT that they've taken away and he desperately needs again, but a behavioral therapist/ABA as well. If necessary, I want him bussed to a school that can provide more intensive help. It's been awhile since I've been this worried about him, and I think he's at a pretty critical point where if we don't get him help soon, he will fall into really bad patterns that I won't be able to break.

Vegas will be on a weird school schedule. 3 days a week of full day private school, 2 days a week of half-days at public school. He qualified for public school five days a week, but we decided he needed to stay his private school where he has made such huge improvements and is so comfortable. He's basically going to the local school for speech therapy and for specials like music and PE. He also got a waiver to go to the same school as Little Man, so they will ride the bus together two days a week! I'm probably going to explode from cute that first day.

And Cheeseball and I are staying home full time. Lots of quality one on one bonding and we're probably going to sign up for Mommy and Me gymnastics and swimming lessons. Cheeseball has so much energy and is very different developmentally than Vegas was at 2 years old. I think he'll really love the attention and the classes, he loves being a big kid and exploring so it will be right up his alley.

My favorite part of school starting again is that I plan to get more serious about taking care of my physical and mental health. More writing, more exercising, more meal-planning and cleaning (which actually is not work for me, I love it and it keeps my emotions more level). An organized home and healthy body is my ultimate dream. To get that started I signed up for a meal kit delivery service and some online subscriptions to keep the diapers and milk coming regularly. Plus I even splurged for a couple fun phone apps for exercise plans and good music. 

Just two more weeks. TWO WEEKS! For now... I have to go figure out how to lock the blinds to prevent the kids from looking directly into the sun.

I Know You're A Neurologist... But... HELP!

Last Wednesday Little Man finally had his follow up with his neurologist. We'd had to cancel the last one because Hubs went out of town for work and I was flying solo with the boys and no sitters, so we'd been waiting since mid March for this appointment.

The logistics of getting up to Hopkins is always a nightmare for us because we live so far away. It ends up being four hours round trip, not including the stop at the end for a Costco run. And as tedious as the drive is it really isn't the worst part. The worst part is getting Little Man to walk through the massive hospital when he won't keep his shoes on, has to stop and lean on you every few moments for a rest, and needs constant redirection to keep moving at his snail's pace. And if you've ever experienced a toddler cling, a giant nine-year-old cling is ten times as heavy and just as frustrating.

So I opted to bring the beach wagon, as a way to hopefully bypass the taking off the shoes and slow walking around. Definitely wasn't ideal, definitely wrenched my back dragging 65 pounds of stroller and kid. But it was better than not using anything. More on that later.

We met with neurology for his med check and all things brain. His doctor upped his medication levels despite no seizures recently because Little Man had a pretty big weight jump from the hospital stay. He also thinks that we will probably continue with the medication for at least two more years, if not for his lifetime. The risk of seizures with Little Man is now just too great. With his foot and muscle issues on my mind however, we ended up talking mostly about what our next steps were and if we could use Hopkins as our point of contact.

The neurologist was amazingly patient and walked me through way more than he is obligated to... and when he didn't have an answer he took the time to ask his boss to figure out more ideas. I freaking love residents. I've had plenty of bad experience with doctors, but residents rarely let me down.

So about that foot... we have to call our insurance company, find a specialty pharmacy that will ship the Botox to my house, and then I have to bring the Botox to a doctor who specializes in physical rehab. That doctor will do the injections, which should loosen the muscles enough to get an AFO or cast on the Little Man. Botox only lasts for 6-8 weeks, so we're probably looking at more than one set of injections, which is a four hour round trip to the doctor's each time. What a nightmare! But all of the doctors agree, Little Man is slowly losing the ability to walk, so it's a non-negotiable.

We also are getting a prescription for more physical therapy and a transport chair (aka, stroller for big kids) to help us cart Little Man around without using the wagon. PT is of course at Krieger in Baltimore again, so we're looking into a class I can take as a caregiver to be able to do the stretches and exercises at home. Hopefully I could learn a few exercises and talk about them with his school therapist as well, since they've backed off so much of the physical therapy in his IEP.

We've barely scratched the surface of what comes next for Little Man and I'm already an anxious, hive-covered mess. For someone who hates talking to people on the phone and who has major panic attacks doing highway drives, so far this is making the next few weeks look hellish.

Mommy's Role

I always figured the way I would raise my kids would be some kind of a cross between Kevin's mom from 'The Wonder Years' and Lucy Ricardo. Some sweet snuggles, home cooked meals, wise and loving lessons, and then a few ridiculous bursts of chaos and temper. Also I'd probably leave my kids with the neighbors a few times a week to chase my dreams of singing in a nightclub.

And I'd say with my little kids I'm pretty spot on. I can sit Vegas in time out with one hand and make pot roast with the other, expertly kiss a boo-boo and decide if it needs a band-aid or a silly song, and read Pete the Cat so many times it makes my eyes cross and my ears bleed. And yes, I definitely enjoy hanging out at my local community theater or with friends away from my kids for reasonable amounts of time.

But it's harder with Little Man. I don't always feel like I'm able to just mother him. I feel like I do a mediocre job of being his Mommy because I'm busy also being Doctor, or Therapist, or Advocate. I think I miss some of the sweet easy moments of his childhood because I'm too busy scheduling his next appointment or researching private schools and therapy. I feel disconnected from mothering as I grasp his chin in my hands and study his gaze while I administer a syringe of medication. Instead of assuming my kid wants to snuggle with me after school, I worry that he's coming over to me to bite or tantrum and hit. Basically it's more common for me to be worrying about what can and does go wrong than to be content and present with what is happening right now.

Just typing that makes me cry angry, guilty tears. I hear the admonishments in my head to "cherish the moments", but how can I when I'm thinking twenty steps ahead every day? Little Man's needs are becoming so overwhelming lately. His tantrums are bigger and angrier, his medical needs more urgent, and the gap between him and any kid his age is more pronounced than ever. I feel like Mommy has taken a backseat to all the other roles he needs from me recently. My love for him never changes, but the way I mother him... I just feel inadequate. I hold on to the hope that my actions and decisions are what is best for him. That he understands somehow that I'm still Mommy under the stress and worry and fear and other roles I take on for him. Definitely not the Mommy I thought I'd be for him, but hopefully the Mommy he needs.

Little Man and Mommy

Wet, Hot, Summer

Little Man's doctor has yet to call me back about his Botox appointment. Hopefully he gets back to us soon, because you can really see a huge decrease in his mobility lately. In all areas except removing his mother-ducking-pajama suit. After a good year and some change, he can now remove pajamas that we have zipped up backwards with the feet removed and sewn on again.

Cheeseball modeling his regular jams, Little Man in modified jams.

So every morning it is like waking up to that toilet monster from 'Dogma' in Little Man's room. I'd link a photo of that too but... nah, Google it, if you really need to see that mess. It's diaper off, gross stuff everywhere. For now he seems less inclined to touch any of it than he used to be - thankfully. But we're still having a bath and room scrub every morning again and it is exhausting. Next step is possibly finding a way to secure the zipper in the back so he can't pry it open and over his shoulders (I think that is how he's doing it)... either with tape or a fastener of some kind.

This summer has been pretty blissfully quiet the last few weeks as Little Man and Vegas both started camps. Of course they're in camps on opposite sides of town and random weekdays, but my in-laws have been amazing at helping with drop offs and pickups so it's been smooth sailing. It's also been a really good time to get household things done and relax with Cheeseball. Today is much less relaxing though, because I'm missing bulk grocery shopping and my workout to wait for someone to fix our air conditioner. It's a sticky 80 degrees in here now at 10:30 am, so we will be spending most of the day in front of the box fan and sipping ice waters. And then I will add to my heaping slice of mother-guilt by giving Cheeseball a dose of Tylenol for the low-grade fever (teething?) we didn't catch for a night because it's so hot in here. Call before you come over, we're living in our diapers and sports bras today.

Walk It Out - Part 2

Little Man's orthopedic appointment was yesterday. We waited 2 hours for a 10 minute appointment, and I came close to walking out and heading home because I was so irritated. Luckily, Little Man was being an angel. And we'd already paid a $40 copay. Yeesh.

When the doctor finally came in and talked to us, it was a whirlwind of information in a short burst. After I explained his formal diagnosis (birth injury, hydrocephalus corrected, epilepsy, developmental delay), she seemed... skeptical? I don't know the correct way to describe her face. She asked to see Little Man's walk, and examined his foot. Immediately she noticed how tight his foot was and I mentioned his previous AFOs (leg braces) and how he'd outgrown them years ago but his gait hadn't gotten worse until recently.

Within seconds, she let us know that his muscles were now so tight he will probably require surgery to help flatten out his foot again. And even after surgery, he would be back in AFO's for awhile. Our only hope to prevent surgery would be to take him to another specialist who would inject him with Botox. This would hopefully relax the muscles enough to get him into casts or AFOs again. She wasn't sure it's a viable option for him because of how tight his muscles are now, but it is worth a shot. Either way, something has to be done or he will lose more and more mobility.

Then the doctor looked at me and told me I was doing a great job as a mom. And gently asked if I realized that what Little Man's dealing with is a form of cerebral palsy.

It's just another diagnosis. Another set of words. It didn't and doesn't change a thing. But it felt like I was punched in the gut. And so I cried for a minute and then she handed me some paperwork and hugged us both. 

Within minutes we were on our way to get Little Man a Happy Meal for being a trooper and making it the whole morning without throwing a tantrum. It looks like it's going to be another crazy ride towards what looks like some more big medical decisions. Phone calls start today!

Walk It Out - Little Man's Feet

Little Man had a very late IEP this year due to some scheduling issues - ours and the school's. He should've been evaluated and seen in March, but that's when he had his seizure, and after several back and forth calls we finally got in to see his team in late May.

Most of the IEP was fairly routine, but his physical therapist pulled me aside with some concerns. She only sees Little Man once a month because the county feels his progress with PT is maxed out (don't even get me started), but she works with his class regularly in swim therapy. She wanted to let me know she saw that he is having more and more trouble walking, and has some serious issues with balance and his feet.

I had to agree with her. We'd seen some issues ourselves, and now that he's been home on break we've seen even more. Circulation was my biggest worry because in the morning his one foot can look a little blue-ish and the muscles are clenched so tightly his toes curl under. We took him to the doctor for at the start of school and they didn't see anything alarming back in September. Things have definitely gotten worse since then though. His limp is more pronounced than ever, and he doesn't walk on the soles of his feet at all. He uses the inside of his left foot, curled under, and propels his right foot forward and walks on his toes. It's super hard to describe, I'll have to take a video of it at some point. But he's lost a lot of mobility and it makes walking distances extremely difficult now. And with Little Man being a tall and gangly nearly nine year old, he's outgrown any stroller we can buy commercially. We're looking at spending upwards of $400 on a stroller that would accommodate his size and weight for a good length of time. *Sigh* For now, if Little Man adventures with us we just move very slowly. Not ideal, but we take big trips so infrequently that we always seem to put that expense on the back burner and focus on his immediate and daily needs.

Little Man at the dentist last week - no cavities, just bruises for Mommy as she held him in place for the teeth cleaning.

But the stroller might not be something we can put off for too much longer, because his PT suggested that to correct the foot and gait issues we will need to go to an orthopedist for a full leg cast. We've tried orthotics with him in the past, and they haven't been successful, so she thinks this is the next step. I'm dreading the idea but we have an appointment next week with an orthopedist that specializes in special kids. If he's cast it would be about 4-6 weeks. And then he could need further casts depending on how he needs to be adjusted.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. But this could be a very intense summer for Little Man.

Epilepsy - A New Diagnosis for Little Man

Our mornings before school with Little Man are pretty easy now that we have a solution to the Bed Wars. We go downstairs and bring him up from his room around 7:15. He seats himself while we make him a breakfast of dry cereal, toast, and milk with Pediasure or yogurt in it for calories. At 7:58 I walk upstairs and grab him some clean socks from the laundry room, at 8:00 I brush his teeth, and we are outside waiting for the bus by 8:04. It's a simple routine and both Little Man and I love the ease of routine.

On this particular March morning it was business as usual. Hubs had brought Little Man upstairs that day because he was running late for work and I was savoring an extra ten minutes of sleep. Little Man was eating breakfast and I plodded downstairs half asleep to kiss Hubs as he walked out the door. We were talking about something and so he was going to be even more late and raced off at about 7:50.

At my usual 7:58 I glanced up at Little Man who was finishing up his toast and headed up for his socks. When I hit the bottom of the stairs at 8:00, I instantly saw something was different. Little Man's eyes were unfocused, he was staring off to the right of the room and looking at nothing. I went over to him and tried to turn his head to face me and a trail of drool came out of his mouth. As I kept repeating his name, his head wouldn't turn and suddenly his eye started twitching. I called Hubs immediately and told him I thought something was happening and to come home right now. I put him on speaker and kept yelling at Little Man to look at me, to focus, and then I just started sobbing. Hubs assured me everything was going to be fine but that he'd turn around and see if something was wrong.

When he walked in the door minutes later, Hubs took one look at Little Man and swept him out to the car. Little Man was able to be guided out the door but definitely wasn't walking well. They left for the hospital and I called my in-laws to come stay with the babies while I tried to pull myself together enough to make the drive, and I got to the hospital by 8:45.

I write these exact times because I don't know how else to explain how fast this all happened. One minute things were absolutely normal. The next minute my heart was in my throat and my world was upside down. I went through worst case scenarios in my head as I drove.

When I walked in to Little Man's room at the ER, I saw Hubs in the corner of the room and he had been crying. I think that's when I let myself start falling apart. Little Man was still seizing, because that's what we confirmed was happening - his first seizure since he was 2 days old. This smaller local hospital was doing everything they could to help him, but we could tell by the tense atmosphere in the room that we wouldn't be staying in this ER for long. Hubs and I held each other and cried. We held Little Man's hand and whispered to him that we were there, but his seizure had gotten stronger and he was completely unable to react to us. His eyes kept twitching and his jaw was clenched shut. Watching him got harder and harder the long we sat there, and the longer the seizure went on the less hope we had that things would be okay.

The doctors had placed a mask on him to help him breathe. They'd tried two doses of an anti-seizure medication and nothing was helping. At 9:30 they reached his neurosurgeon at Hopkins and they told us they would be taking Little Man to Baltimore by helicopter as soon as it could get there, and if his seizure wasn't under control by then we'd have to put in a breathing tube - an option that could cause further complications down the road and that he was hoping to avoid. Finally, Hopkins and the ER approved a final, different seizure drug before the helicopter arrived, and at 10:15 his seizure was over. It had been over two hours. I didn't know anyone could seize for two hours.

*Side Note - As I was watching my Little Man seizing on the hospital bed, I received an "emergency call" from Hopkins intake. I raced out to the phone at the nurses station assuming I needed to hear about what the next steps were before the helicopter arrived. Which was true - they wanted to validate my insurance and make sure we could afford the $400 co-pay for the helicopter ride, or they wouldn't be taking him. Again, this is while he was actively seizing and they could not get it under control. I don't think I've ever been more angry in my life.*

Shortly after his stabilization and my approval with the insurance company, Life Flight arrived. Originally we'd been told I'd fly up with him, but the helicopter had no space. We raced home and met the in-laws to let them know we had to drive up north, and to pack a bag. After our morning, we didn't think we'd be leaving Baltimore that night or even anytime soon.

But when we arrived in Baltimore a few hours later, our worst nightmare had turned into a relaxing afternoon at the hospital. Little Man was fast asleep, which the surgeons and neurologists said was very normal after such an intense seizure. His neurosurgery team recommended we do some testing to rule out a shunt issue, but neurology was fairly confident that with medication he could leave the hospital that evening. My Mama Bear defenses were still on high alert from the morning, so I insisted that he wouldn't be leaving the hospital until every test was done and any shunt issues completely ruled out. Luckily the surgery team was on our side, and agreed that a night of observation wasn't out of the question.

That night we had an EEG, which we hoped would show no further seizure activity and would also show us if this prolonged seizure caused further brain damage. Little Man was waking up a bit more from his seizure and so this was tougher than expected, but we got enough results to confirm two great things - no seizures were happening, and although there was some brain damage, it didn't appear to be new.

The next morning, we got the all clear to head home. We were given a choice of two anti-seizure medications for Little Man to be on for the next few months. One of them would require weekly blood tests to check for liver damage, the other had side effects that caused behavioral issues in children. We went with the latter, and he will be on that twice a day for the next few months at least.

We left Baltimore that morning with a few answers, and a few questions. Epilepsy brought on by the beginning of puberty was our official diagnosis. The seizures he had as an infant had a dormant phase and now he could be in for a period of many seizures, or never have one again. There isn't a way of knowing unless we take him off the medication again. We also don't know why the seizure was so long or if he'd been possibly having smaller, unnoticed seizures for a time. He used to have a habit of stopping an activity and staring blankly into space for a moment or two before continuing, and since he started his medication he no longer seems to do that.

For now, things are back to baseline. At 7:50 this morning he received one of his twice daily doses of medication, and by 8:04 he was at the bus stop. He's the most resilient kiddo I've ever known.

Welcome Back

Here I am! I'm alive! I'm back!

The silence was a combination of things. My old laptop crapped out on me, for one. And for two, my lawyer advised against writing for awhile while we dealt with some legal things.

Today I have a new laptop. And as of one week ago, I have no more legal things. So welcome back to our home!

If you need to catch up on the most basic details - here goes;

Hubs and I are celebrating 5 years of marriage in November. He's still amazing. He's still the most sane person in this house.

Little Man turns 9 in July *gulp*, which is not scaring me at all, not one little bit. We've had a couple health scares recently - a shunt surgery last September to move the shunt and unclog it, and our first very-big-very-scary seizure last month. The seizure lasted 2 hours before we were able to get it under control, and we spent an overnight in the hospital while trying to figure out what happened. Docs decided it was probably a result of the damage his brain suffered from his seizures as a baby, brought on by the beginning of puberty *gulp*. He's now on anti-seizure meds and has an official epilepsy diagnosis. Other than that, he's pretty much coasting along Little Man style. Nothing has really changed in his mental/social development, although he is working really hard at school to use an iPad for communication. He is officially a giant gangly boy!

Little Man shopping with me at Wegmans - I love the Caroline Carts!

Vegas turns 4 in August! It has been amazing watching him grow and change over the last year. Until a few months ago we were fairly positive he had apraxia of speech, a condition where he couldn't use his mouth muscles to form certain sounds. Now that diagnosis is a little more uncertain, because his speech has just exploded!! He started preschool in December unable to say any words, and now we can't stop him trying out new sounds and supplementing those with his sign language! He still takes speech therapy once a week because his words are very unclear and this jump in language is so sudden, but I have a feeling he'll be just fine in a year or so!! In addition to the preschool (which he loves) he goes to gymnastics once a week and his gross motor skills are also improving a ton. My cautious little toddler is starting to become a braver and stronger little boy. He's a total ham, and tests my patience every day. But dang he's cute...

Vegas saying "Cheeeeeese"

And finally - the baby! It's been so long since I've written, he doesn't even have a blog name! So introducing - Cheeseball! Cheeseball is going to be 2 years old in September. He is a snuggly, smiley, lovebug, and a definite Daddy's boy. He's got some serious shy-guy stranger anxiety going on which he's slooooowly outgrowing, but if Daddy is around he needs to be within eyeshot or it is a total meltdown. With all the focus on Little Man's health and Vegas' speech, we were slower to notice that Cheeseball's speech development is also behind. But by 18 months we realized it was time to get him into a Infants and Toddlers evaluation, which put him at about 11-12 months in speech skills. Nothing too major, especially with two strong and silent big brothers. So we start him in speech therapy this summer and hope for some progress by next year. We plan to start him in gymnastics too, because he's a huge daredevil - so much more curious and into climbing than his big brothers were, I know he will be my first kid to get stitches at this rate!

We don't call him "Cheeseball" for nuthin'

So there ya go! That's the quickest update I can jam into one easy-to-read post. I have a ton of other more detailed posts to write in the next few weeks. Some things I've been dying to put pen to paper about forever, and some others just to have to look back on for our family.

It's good to be back!

The Course of True Love

Now that the mess of Christmas is behind us (or still on the kitchen table *cough*Hubs*cough*), we are working hard to get the house and the kids on a normal schedule again. 

Christmas Morning!

Both boys were spoiled rotten for Christmas - even though Vegas was not having anything to do with opening presents. His first gift was a stuffed tiger chair, and the shock of unwrapping his gift and seeing the tiger staring back at him was too much for him. Any time after that when someone would bring him a gift, he went running!

Nope. NOPE. Don't wanna touch this.

By the time Christmas Day ended both boys were in full on meltdowns and ready for bed. Luckily my in-laws live super close so bed was a quick drive away. Never underestimate the peace that comes of a daily schedule. Change is bad, change is bad!

Christmas Night!
Ignore my terrible posture, I was slightly distracted by the screams.
Also, yes, Little Man had an outfit change.
No it wasn't planned.
(Oh also, I got a haircut!)

After Christmas and New Years and a million events and parties, Hubs had to go back to work and I went back to house-management. We all have clean clothes again and the kitchen is a lot less crunchy when you walk. And my ear is constantly warm from being on the phone 24/7 with all of these doctors/therapists/VIPs.

Little Man's therapy schedule was the first big item on the agenda. He's still doing once a week home therapy, a full day at school, and every other week he has behavioral therapy. He finally bounced back from the plague that hit the house around Thanksgiving, and we're hoping that will help get him back on track with his other long term goals too. During the school day he is wearing cotton splints on his hands for certain activities to help him remember to keep his hands by his side (instead of on his ears). This is (understandably) very annoying for him and makes him very angry, so it's definitely not something we want to have to have him do forever.  He also discovered over vacation that because he'd been so good about not taking off his diaper at night, we'd stopped taping his waist and ankles. He has lost all the progress he made on the diaper department, and we are back to nightly duct tape. Unfortunately, he's taken to getting into it during the day too - hence the Christmas outfit change - and even been doing it at school. Ugh. 

Everyone is looking slightly to the left because that's where the Target photographer held the iPhone.
Can't win em all.
Merry Christmas.

Our other big news is that Vegas met with Infants and Toddlers over winter break and is now going to have his very own IFSP. We contacted them because he still has no words and doesn't really babble much. He went to his big test yesterday at Little Man's school, and passed... or I guess failed?... with flying colors. Speech therapy it is! He is at 7 months expressive language and 12 months receptive language, which means he has the 25% delay in development that qualifies him for therapy from the county. Other than his speech delay, he is on track everywhere else - I definitely have my hands full with this smart and curious little guy. But I have no problems with him being in speech therapy, and I'm not worried or freaking out about it (much). I know having a non-verbal sibling and being home with only me most of the time probably contributes to his delay, and so I think this will be very helpful. I'm not looking forward to squeezing in another therapist to the schedule, but we'll make it work. We've been down the Infants and Toddlers road before, and I have a lot of faith in the program and in early intervention. 

Vegas' First Day at Hogwarts.
Er... I mean preschool testing!

So don't take it personally if I seem frazzled in the next few months. It's because I am. Two kids in therapy, two shows at our local community theater, running a household, and possibly taking up a new 'job'. It's all going to be a caffeine-fueled blur. If you are one of those people that likes to help - I graciously accept k-cups and Mountain Dew.

No Easy Fixes

There are no easy fixes when it comes to Little Man. Going in to our appointment last Friday, I was pretty sure there would be tears - from me as well as Little Man. I woke up that morning and my bug had finally decided to hit me HARD. In the face. I walked around like a zombie while Hubs got everyone dressed and out the door, and managed to make me some breakfast for the road. I was miserable all day so I knew a stress-related breakdown at the appointment was inevitable. I am the kind of person who releases any emotion with tears, so I knew to stock the van with a box of soft and lotion-y tissues for the day.

Little Man started the appointment by having a serious tantrum that lasted a solid twenty minutes or so. Some head slapping and dramatic tears were eventually alleviated with three bags of fruit snacks and some therapy work. But the news was pretty much what I expected - we are on one wait list to see a psychiatrist for a med evaluation, and a second wait list for a two week long intensive outpatient program for behavioral modification. We are also restarting the every-other-week sessions with his psychologist. Even knowing it was coming, the serious look on his therapist's face brought me to tears. This therapist has seen Little Man since he was three years old, so he's seen Little Man at his best and at his lowest. This look said to me that this is the lowest we've been in those three years. And even typing that makes me tear up and my heart break.

I set aside all thoughts of therapy this weekend to just enjoy time with friends and Hubs. Even though we both were exhausted and still a little sick, I think we needed it. We spent Saturday night at a friend's Christmas party and Sunday night I went to brunch with more friends. Then yesterday I auditioned for another community theater production. Being busy is the only thing that keeps me sane. Sometimes I feel like the more I have on my plate, the more focused and happy I am. I mean, talk to me about that again in a few months, but yes - busy is good!

Speaking of busy, we have only a few days until I leave with two wiggly little boys and Hubs for a 16 hour road trip to Wisconsin. To save a crapton (yes, a unit of measurement) of money we decided on renting the smaller car versus the SUV. Cross your fingers and hearts for us, I'm hoping we make it in one piece. We are literally driving up, spending two days with family, and then driving back. We are insane.

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And because he didn't get mentioned much, here is a photo of Vegas being adorable. Also a reminder that I love this little squish, because seriously this grumpy mood he's been in for two days is no fun at all.

Life is Hitting Us Hard

As usual, the holidays came and we all caught some sort of horrible bug.  We've been out of commission for about a week now with various levels of sick, although Little Man has been miserable much longer than the rest of us. About a month now. We even ended up taking him to Urgent Care, because his cough started to get a horrible whooping sound for a few days. He was given steroids, cough syrup, and a diagnosis of croup. Yikes!

Luckily they said it wasn't very contagious, unless you shared food or drink immediately after him.

Two days later, Vegas was a snotty, sick little mess.

Oh little boys...

STOP BEING CUTE, HE'S FULL OF GERMS!

Because Little Man is sick and miserable, his behavior has been really out of whack lately too. His normal stimming and head-hitting has escalated to full blown punches to the left side of his head when he's angry. He leaves big red marks all down the side of his face, and screams bloody murder while he does it. I'm sure it hurts, which is a problem, but it is also really scary to watch. When he does the hitting in public I have to brace myself for not only his actions, but my own reaction as I sense people watching me to see what happens next. I never let the people-watchers dictate my own actions - Little Man is my child and I know when he needs to be redirected and pushed through an activity and when it's time to cut our losses and bail. But it stings to feel those eyes on you and your child, for sure.

I know there will be a time when Little Man is too big to pick up and hold, and too strong for me. I can feel it coming every time I lift him into his chair at dinnertime. So I worry all the time that this hitting phase will be permanent and that there will be a time where he will cause serious harm to himself or others, and that I won't be able to fix this. And of course right now it's too early to tell what will happen in a year, or five years, or ten. But I still worry. Because that's what mommas do best. Love and worry.

Right now, the hitting is only a problem when he is mad, and he only hits himself. So we're talking with his behavioral psychologist and trying to decide how best to handle things. I have a feeling that our psych trips will increase after we see him again this week and let him know our progress. Which is okay. We are okay.  And Little Man is okay.

Things had just been really smooth for awhile there, and so this feels like a huge setback. Behaviorally Little Man has developed leaps and bounds from where he was even just last year, but this just... its rough. Every once in awhile I just feel so overwhelmed with this one.

My Little Man being a lovebug at the doctor's office.

But this is also my Little Man. This cuddly little love-bug of a kid, who lately has been crawling into our laps at night when he gets tired, just to be held for awhile. The kid who never once hits his brother or is mean to him, despite how much Vegas is in his face all day long. The kid who loves to run his hands over beard stubble while he looks lovingly into your eyes.  This crazy, adorable little guy.

I love this little guy, and today I want to just look at this picture and remember how much he melts my heart even when it's been a long, hard, month.

Family Weekend

This past weekend we won a free trip to Williamsburg from a timeshare company and headed out there for a great couple of days with the boys. Since we are very wary of flying with Little Man, we're always excited when we can take him places within driving distance. Although considering we drove to Wisconsin last winter, driving distance is actually a pretty loose term.

The stipulation of winning a "free" stay at the condo meant we had to listen to a timeshare lecture, which ate a good chunk of one of our days in Williamsburg. Despite that though, we managed to go out to dinner as a family, spend a full day walking the streets of colonial Williamsburg, visit the outlets, and even take advantage of the giant jacuzzi tub we had in the condo! Well... Hubs and the boys did. I sat on the sidelines and laughed at boy's swimtime.

Our major worry heading in to the weekend was what to do with Little Man at night. At home we have our routines and our safety measures in place for him, but hotels are a whole different ballgame. Luckily Hubs' parents had come up with a fairly ingenious solution for when they watched Little Man while we were in Las Vegas, and so we decided to try it on a larger scale at the condo since it was a 2-bedroom unit.

Bed Jail!

The baby gate/playyard went around the entire bed, and we kept it snug using the end tables on either side of the bed. Surprisingly enough Little Man didn't try to get out of bed or even move the end tables to release the gate, which weren't expecting at all! So he stayed in the 2nd bedroom all night and kept to his usual schedule. Hurray and score one for us!

Vegas was another story. He was not pleased with his sleep option - a pack n play in the living room. The first night he cried for several hours while we tried everything we knew how to get him to relax and sleep, and even after finally getting him down he woke up once or twice during the night. That did mean that the next night he was so exhausted it only took a half-hour to get him to bed, but man were we exhausted after night one! We were shocked it was Vegas and not Little Man who kept us up all night, but kids are always surprising little beasts so go figure!

All in all it was a really fun weekend away, despite a little rain and Little Man's refusal to pose for photo ops.

Cold and rain didn't phase him!

Not a fan of the forced photo. Sigh.

The day after we got back we decided the weather was perfect pumpkin patch/apple buying weather, so we headed to a local farm to grab a wagon full of autumn.

Not exaggerating, a wagon full.

The boys probably had more fun here than Williamsburg because we let them explore at their own pace - although Vegas seemed unsure of what to do with all of his freedom...

Perplexed

Little Man was just pleased we let him wander around and clamp his hands over his ears as much as he wanted. It's the little things in life.

Dance like nobody is watching

And while Hubs got in a cute photo or two, I got shafted again with photo ops. Oh well, I'll have beautiful memories, right?

JUST HOLD STILL AND ACT LIKE PINTEREST KIDS!

After the pumpkin patch we headed over to a local winery with my in-laws and then had them over for chili dinner. I don't think we could have crammed any more activities into the weekend!!

By Monday morning we were exhausted and had to use the conveniently placed national holiday to recuperate from all the vacationing. We binge-watched Survivor and caught up on the DVR while eating leftover chili. 

It was really one of the best family weekends we've had yet. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have these boys and marvel at how much my life has changed in just a few years. We are all so, so lucky.

3 Years Ago...

3 years ago Little Man underwent a shunt revision. He'd been having vomiting episodes for almost a year, and every time I took him to the doctor or the E.R. I was assured everything was 'normal'. He was exposed to germs in daycare and Ex's house wasn't the cleanest of places (a story for another day), so his vomiting was chalked up to those things and called a day.

Eventually Hubs and I ended up making a 2 hour trip to the only emergency room qualified to give Little Man an MRI or CT because of his shunt. Even after I brought my listless and exhausted three year old in to this major hospital E.R., they couldn't find anything wrong him. They tapped it (took some cerebral spinal fluid from inside the shunt) and his pressure seemed normal. But as the medical resident was tapping the shunt, some spinal fluid leaked and he seemed to be having a tough time with the procedure. We didn't know it then, but he hadn't gotten an accurate result.

He was sleeping most of the time, a symptom of shunt failure but also a symptom of every other illness ever.

So after a three day hospital stay, the head of the pediatric neurology team came and performed the tap again herself. They'd been hesitant to tap again so soon because every tap can introduce germs into the shunt and that's a place you don't particularly want germs. Also because of other medical junk I cannot remember 3 years out. But anyhow, the neurologist found out that the shunt was partially clogged and not working, so they scheduled a brain surgery for that afternoon. The surgery was quick, "an easy brain surgery" (according to the surgeon, not me), and after another overnight he was able to leave the next day.

Wicked headache and bad haircut, but a total trooper.

Needless to say, I felt terrible that it took nearly a year of doctor visits and nightly vomiting episodes to figure out that he was having a shunt malfunction.  Unfortunately, the symptoms of a shunt malfunction are:

• Irritability
• Refusal to eat
• Vomiting
• Feeling more sleepy than normal
• Headache

Do you recognize any of these symptoms? Surprise! A shunt malfunction looks like any other three year old's regular old stomach bug. And with Little Man having had only partial blockage in his shunt, his symptoms were coming and going without a pattern of any kind. Not to mention that he could never tell me if he had a headache or not, and at that time in his life he wasn't refusing to eat the way he does now. With so few symptoms, it took a long time to come to the decision to perform brain surgery on him again, which I suppose is both good and bad.


So what makes me bring this up now? Well, Little Man is going through a new fun stage where he likes to see how far he can get his fingers back in his mouth to touch his tongue and his teeth. A couple times, he's made himself gag nearly to the point of vomiting. (YUM!)

Last week I came into his room to get him ready for school and he'd vomited during the night. He was otherwise absolutely fine, and raced downstairs for breakfast before I could say, "hey dude are you okay?"  I decided to chalk it up to the new gagging thing, and after cleaning it up I thought very little about it.

Then yesterday morning I walked in and Little Man was just waking up. He immediately started gagging and threw up two or three times before crawling back in to bed exhausted and sleeping for another two and half hours. Since I watched this one and know it wasn't self-induced, I was pretty panicked. He woke up around 10:30 in a terrific mood and bounced all over the house... and while that might seem like great news, it actually puts a lot more fear into this situation for me and Hubs.

So this is why I worry every time my kid is sick. This is why every stomach bug or sniffle has me on high alert... because we're hoping this isn't the start of another long process. We're hoping this is something normal and kindergarten related. Cross your fingers for us.

Little Man Hates Dentist, Vegas Loves Food

Little Man's dental appointment has been pushed back so many times it's embarrassing.  The first time we tried to take him was over a year ago, and while filling out the medical form I naively added "by the way, he has a shunt" line to the medical issues part.  Turns out with a shunt that they don't clean your teeth without prior approval from a doctor.  Whoops.  So his teeth were counted, looked fine, and I called it a dentist win.  I rescheduled and canceled several times because every time the appointment came up again, I'd forgotten to talk to his neurosurgeon.  After intense prodding from his social worker this summer, I re-re-re-scheduled the visit, only to forget again.  Sensing a theme?  But this time I got on the phone with neurology and got everything taken care of in less than an hour. Except it was 1 hour after his appointment time.  Sigh.

So finally yesterday was the big day!  We got to the dentist, and of course we had been mislabeled as a regular ole kid who can get his teeth cleaned by a nice little old lady.  After a gentle reminder (and 30 minutes), we got a strapping young doctor and strong dental hygienist who could help me pin the kid down while his teeth were cleaned. I still got kicked in the kidney several times, as I was designated "hand-holder". On the bright side, he was given a thumbs up on the clean, straight teeth. Then I was warned that six-year molars are on their way.  Yikes!

We raced back home to get Little Man off to kindergarten, which meant Vegas skipped lunch while Little Man ate a danish in the car. Mom points for that one, I know. I quickly realized that Vegas was not enjoying watching Little Man eat and not having lunch, but since Vegas is a little on the messy side, I was S.O.L. on what to feed him as we drove. A half-hour of wailing later, I caved and tossed an applesauce squeeze to him in a church parking lot.  I figured, what the hell, he'll either be covered in applesauce or get a bite to eat. Surprisingly enough, he grasped the squeeze and sip solo concept pretty fast, ate the whole thing, and was dying for more.  Two more parking lot pull overs later and he fell asleep as we pulled into Little Man's school.  Of course.

When we got home from dropping off Little Man, Vegas ate a hard boiled egg, 1/4 cup of olives, a cheesestick, and half a mango before passing out again.  That kid can eat!!

Today we are finally off to get the last few issues in my car looked at before I never shop at that dealership again.  I've had so much trouble with them I could scream.  And I have, several times. Wish us luck!

The First Day of Kindergarten... Er... Again

Yesterday was Little Man's first day of kindergarten, round 2.  We held him back this year for a few reasons, the main one being that he is still not able to sit and follow directions for any significant length of time, and he's still having a lot of trouble with transitioning from one activity to the next.

I met his teacher a couple of days ago.  She seems nice enough.  I'm hoping she is as fabulous as his last teacher, but jury's still out.  Open House was kind of my worst nightmare, because it was during the day and so with Hubs at work I had to take both boys in the double stroller.  I tore off a toenail and managed to bash into a doorjamb. Sorry Vegas.  He didn't flinch, but the parents watching me sure did.  Whoops.  Oh and also, Little Man threw an epic tantrum that lasted the entire 45 minutes we were in the building.  I was a sweaty beast by the time we left.

Quick story - In the morning when Little Man's bus turned into our neighborhood, we walked down to the end of the driveway per usual.  (I always watch from the shelter of the garage until the bus drives past us, because she has to U-turn at the cul-de-sac to exit the neighborhood/stop at our house with the bus door on the correct side.)  Our new bus driver drives right past us as I give my best "HEY WTF ARE YOU GOING!?" face and frantic arm wave.  So she brakes at the very end of the neighborhood, and I drag Little Man to the bus and push Vegas' stroller along side.  Apparently the paperwork was incorrect again and she'd been expecting to stop at the bus stop in the cul-de-sac.  Womp womp.  She got pretty snippy with me and it was a fairly stressful start to the morning.  As I tried to clear things up she waved me off and told me to call transportation to deal with the paperwork, she had no time for me.

Transportation's phones were all busy (first day of school must be awesome there), and after several tries over the course of the morning I got a machine where I left a terse message to please call me back to correct an issue with a bus stop for a special needs child.  Less than 3 minutes after leaving the message, the para (assistant who stays with the kids on the bus so they are safe) from the bus calls me to apologize and let me know she'll take care of all the paperwork and not to worry my pretty little head about it.  I might have paraphrased that conversation.  Which was great, because surprise surprise, transportation never called me back anyways.

So that was the start to our first year!  Today Little Man was shepherded onto his bus with four Target bags filled with important kindergarten supplies like glue sticks, crackers, and juice boxes - and it definitely stopped at the end of our driveway.  Here's to another great year!

Wiggly boy = Blurry memory.  Sorry kid.

Getting Through Dinner

This video showed up on my newsfeed this morning.  If you're like me and don't enjoy clicking back and forth on a phone, I'll sum it up for you. The ABC program "What Would You Do" did an episode about a child being taken out to lunch with his family.  The child in the program behaved as if he had autism (repetitive words and wandering, among other things) and then ABC waited with their hidden cameras to see what diners would do.  When no one reacted to the boy's behavior, they used another actor to instigate some trouble - he acted offended and gave advice to the family (ie; take your kid home or discipline him.) The entire diner then rallied behind the family and the actor that was being rude was encouraged to leave the diner amid cheers and clapping.

I cried a few times watching the video.  Probably because I'm really over-tired from a fun yesterday of wine tasting and grilling out with my in-laws.  Also because I cry at commercials and kids movies.  But honestly I probably cried a little because it was great to see people doing the right thing by this family, whether it was a real situation or not.

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Taking Little Man out in public is always risky.  We do our best to prepare for any possibility, but sometimes it just doesn't want to work. Little Man chooses seemingly on a whim the days where he will be a reasonable companion to our outing, and something that worked to calm him the week before will suddenly no longer work.  Our diaper bag has more distractions for Little Man than diapers and formula, and we are constantly finding new items to carry with us that might just help us during those crucial few moments before a tantrum becomes a full-out meltdown.

Last weekend we took Hubs out to dinner for his birthday to a crab shack that is way out in the boonies.  We'd been there a few times before, and it's great food and short wait times - basically a good place for dining with kids.  We packed up the diaper bag full of snacks, toys, and the portable DVD player and were all set for a great lunch.  Until we sat down and stuck Little Man in the highchair.  Nope.  Not having it.  He was screaming bloody murder, and we took out the Last Resort - the magic DVD player.  And it broke.  And because we were out in the boonies, there was no WiFi to stream a movie on our phones.

We were in the back corner of the restaurant, but the screams were loud and then he started hitting his ears and head (extreme meltdown mode).  So Hubs grabbed his beer and the Little Man and they went outside to cool down.  Ten minutes go by and we think we've got the DVD player working again, so they come back in.  The DVD player works for a few minutes and then it breaks again, leaving Little Man in tears. Not even the allure of fruit snacks is stopping this tantrum.  They go back outside and hang there until dinner arrives and we decide to try one more time.  For whatever reason, third time is the charm and we make it through dinner.  Crisis averted, I guess.  We got to eat dinner, and it wasn't cold.

When  I was waiting for Hubs to come back inside the second time, the woman from the table next to us stopped by our table and leaned down to talk to me.  "You're doing a great job", she said, and then just smiled and walked off.

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As strange and awkward as it might seem to offer that sentiment to a complete stranger, I wish more people had the courage to say something.  Because it really helps.  It helps when you feel like everyone is staring, and everyone is judging you for not having your kid "under control" and not "disciplining him".  It helps in those horrible moments in the grocery store where you just want to melt into the floor because you know that it isn't "normal" for a six year old to be sobbing uncontrollably while wiping his tears into his mouth and chewing on his fingers.  It helps when you are watching your child slap his head and face, and you're wondering what the dozens of watchful eyes are thinking to themselves as they stare at your family in the checkout lane.

We live this situation in varying degrees all the time, and it is very, very real.  That horrible diner from the video that is judging that family is out there, and he embarrasses you and breaks your heart sometimes.  The "it takes a village" mentality about being able to shame all children (yours or not) into behaving while they are out in public is mortifying to a parent of a child with developmental disabilities.  People who know nothing about your child find it extremely important to tell you what you are doing is wrong and that you aren't parenting properly. Despite the happy message of the video, it is much more rare for me to encounter a person who simply supports us, builds us up, and reminds us we aren't alone and that even though it looks bad today - we are doing a great job and things will be better tomorrow.

Just think about it next time you see a family struggling out in public.  Think about how hard they are working to be "normal", or even to just get through this one outing, this one afternoon. Think about it before you give them a dirty look or roll your eyes because they are disrupting your life somehow.  I promise that most of those families wish you weren't inconvenienced by them as well.  I promise that most of those families wished you never even noticed them.  We're just trying to get through dinner too.

Now What Do We Do For The Rest Of Summer?

Little Man had his last day of summer camp yesterday.  I was thrilled at the idea of getting a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning, but then reality set in - the kids wake up whether there is camp or not!  My alarm didn't go off this morning, but I still woke up at 7:15 on the dot to get everyone downstairs and our day started.

We only have two weeks until school starts, but I am not really looking forward to the weekdays. I know I won't get nearly as much done during the day. I also know that too much contact between Little Man and Vegas gives Little Man a case of the "ohmygodshutthatkidup".  Especially now that Vegas can babble and follow Little Man all around the house.  I don't know who to feel sorry for - the big kid who needs quiet and alone time without being overstimulated by a squealing toddler, or the little kid who thinks everything his big brother does is awesome and he wants to be right next to him all day long.

Speaking of toddler, Vegas is almost one year old!  Just in the last few weeks he's been making physical leaps - he now uses his Thomas train as a walker to toddle all over the house, stands alone for a few minutes at a time, and has mastered the sippy cup!  I found out the last one when I heard the familiar sound of milk being tugged out of a sippy, and realized it was Vegas taking a big gulp out of Little Man's milk cup. Whoops.  So yesterday we started weaning him off formula and I don't think there is going to be a problem there at all.  He loves his nighttime bottle, but I think that is more of a comfort thing than a nourishment at this point.  He eats so much food now too, and he has no dislikes yet - so his diet is pretty varied and healthy. I've also felt pretty strongly throughout his babyhood that I would let him help guide me in what he was ready to eat and how much he'd like - no rushing him into solids and when he was hungry, we'd eat.  He really preferred/could best handle purees for the longest time and just now has started being able to swallow and tolerate firmer chunks of food. I feel like we've gone from 0-60 in food options overnight!!!  Yesterday for dinner he had avocado, banana, broccoli, carrots, lima beans, and rice cakes and a half cup of water!

This was after a nectarine massacre.
Did you know it is really hard to peel a nectarine?!

Last month we found a sweet portrait deal online for a 16x16 gallery canvas and 40% off any additional sheets of photos for only $16.  So we scheduled some first year photos for Vegas, since Little Man is... less than enthusiastic about photo shoots (plus he will get school photos in a few weeks).  On the other hand, Vegas is always serious and contemplative when in a new place, so it was still really tough to get some smiles and poses out of him.  But we persevered and got several cute shots of him that should be here just in time for his giant birthday bash!! I can't wait to show them off -I'm such a proud momma.

A photo of the website storing previews of photos.
I'm so tech savvy.
 

We had arranged for the end of the photo shoot to be a cake smash. Vegas was not at all amused. He was very grossed out by the idea of smashing his hands into cake, and just tried to run away the entire time.  I tried to "help" by placing his hands in the cake and swiping some frosting on his lip.  No dice - now he was just dirty and trying to run away. Oh well - we've got another chance for cake photos at his party.  Little Man was such a pro at his cake smash, I think I got spoiled.

He was seriously the cutest cake smasher I've ever seen.

And that about wraps up the last couple of weeks.  Vegas' eczema cleared up with the medicated cream they gave us.  I was diagnosed with TMJ six minutes after walking into the ENT's office.  Little Man has been healthy and has the best suntan out of all of us - he looks like a little Coppertone baby commercial.  Camp kept him outside and wore him out every day, and I think it was a great experience for him.

Time to get back to organized chaos...

Upward Mobility

Today was officially the last day of school for Little Man.  He finishes Kindergarten and next year starts Kindergarten: The Sequel.  I think I mentioned in our last post that we are holding him back a year, and I don't regret the idea one bit.  He has plenty of years of sitting at a desk and learning life skills ahead of him, and I think one more year of free play and using social skills in a smaller group setting will be extremely beneficial.

No more baby chub.  Well, for him anyway, I've still got mine.

Next week he starts his special camp program!  They are going to have swimming and water park days, tons of arts and crafts (which he really likes), and hopefully it will just wear him out so he sleeps better at night.

With Baby Vegas' sensitive skin, I think it is going to be a challenge to find a good sunscreen for this summer, so it might be a lot of indoor/shady time for us while big brother is off having a blast.  The poor kid can't even crawl on the carpet without leggings on because his knees stay bright red for days. That doesn't stop him though - once this kid learned to crawl he was outta here!  Every few minutes I'm grabbing him away from something he isn't supposed to be touching.  Nothing dangerous, we've been baby-proofed for Little Man forever.  Just your average VCR slot (yep we still have a VHS player!), coffee table drawer, stack of DVDs kind of thing.  We did have to go out and purchase baby gates for the stairs - by the time we moved into this place Little Man was not at an age where we worried about them too much.  Plus after my townhouse which had floating stairs, every other staircase seemed tame.

"What do you WANT Tiny Noisy Thing?!"

Little Man and our dog Sandy are not big fans of Vegas' new skills.  Both of them hate being bothered while they are doin' their own thing - and Vegas wants all the cuddles.  He thinks anyone at floor level is fair game.  Luckily he has Max, our evil cat, to follow around and squeeze.  Max is surprisingly tolerant of a twenty pound baby "petting" him all the time.  The two of them are two peas in a pod, and it's adorable.

VICTORY!  She is too tired to move!!

Max doesn't respect nap time.  

Little Man's bus just pulled up, so it is officially Summertime.  I can't wait!