Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The One With Panic!

Today is a great day generally.  It's my mother's birthday.  It is also my grandpa's birthday.  Best birthday gift to a dad ever, so I hear.

Today is also a really effing stressful day.  It is exactly one month til my wedding.  Goodbye nonchalant attitude!  Goodbye "Oh yeah I'm not really thinking much about it."  Goodbye "we have time til the wedding, I'm not worried."

I'm starting to panic.  I went from completely fine and calm to OMGTHEWEDDINGISCOMING.  I'm having nightmares that everyone hates being in Vegas together and they all regret coming.  Or that I served fondue at my wedding and the pots wouldn't turn on so all I had was cheese lumps.  Or that I can't find a dress or a veil or anything...

I have a To-Do list, which basically says "Get Everything Done".  Every time I look at it I freak out.  Every time Hubs asks me to do something wedding related I snap at him like he's just asked me to solve the problem of world piece in twenty minutes or less.  Last night I freaked out at him because at 11:30 PM he casually brought up that it might be nice to settle on a cake design by the next morning.  No really, the "fight" ended with him going "I just don't understand what happened, I wanted to look at cakes and now you hate me?"

[Sidenote: I don't hate him, and I am baking him gingersnaps today because I was acting a fool.  Yes I bribe him into forgetting I'm crazy, isn't that what everyone does in relationships?]

I am also 4 pounds away from my wedding goal weight, which is going to be hard to get to because I'm eating my feelings. 
Why don't I feel better??


So while I want today to be a positive day, and deep down I swear it is... please don't be surprised if you see me FREAKING OUT.  Or eating a bag of popcorn covered in butter.  Both of these things are interchangeable.

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