We use coupons for everything we can (a dolla makes me holla honey boo boo) and I happened to have two coupons for free portrait sessions at Target and some sort of package deal. Score. Then more magic happened. Let me put it in a play for you:
Scene: Exhausted Mom looks at the planner in her hand. Damn. Christmas cards. She sighs. "You're right though Planner, I will not remember to make an appointment for pictures before the wedding, there is no time after the wedding... GAHHH!!"
*ring ring ring*
Me: Hello, I'd like to make an appointment for a portrait session on Friday. If that is available. If not, then maybe next Friday? Or whenever, it's really up to you. Just tell me when to show up.
[That is actually exactly how I sound on the phone, I am incredibly awkward and have a fear of anyone who works in retail. I know. It's weird.]
Target Employee: Okay... Friday at noon is good. How many of you are there?
Me: Three. Two adults and a child.
TE: Okay and how old is the child?
Me: Um he's four, but more like two, he's going to um... be really difficult and will not listen or follow directions or smile....
TE: Wait... were you guys here last year?
Me: We were the family with the gummy bears...
TE: YES I remember you guys, no problem, see you Friday.
Last year's portraits were not so much a shining example of beautiful family time so much as... "Dammit we are a family and you will be in this photo if it KILLS ME!". I had warned the photographer that getting a photo of Little Man smiling was not nearly as important as getting a photo of him looking at the camera and where Hubs and I looked great. Because getting Little Man to smile on cue is next to impossible. Of course, he also chose that day to have a massive temper tantrum. So I bribed him to stop screaming with fruit snacks. Lots of fruit snacks. 4 bags, if we're being honest.
I give it a B- for effort.
Hubs and I look great, although I am doing that thing again where my eyes get tiny when I smile. Little Man is looking at the camera. His hair is... passable. You try combing that!! But if you zoom in really close... you can see evidence of our bribery right there in his open mouth. Whoops. Whatever, it's going above the fireplace.
On second thought, I give this a B+. Especially when I consider what our pictures might look like this year.